The Problem of the Runcible Spoon (a bit of Writer Archeology)


Quite a while ago (late January of 2011, in fact) I wrote the following about runcible spoons and what they are and aren’t. At the time there was actually rather less Internet than there is now, and also a bit different flavor of Wild West to it all, so I’ve had to make a few edits and and had to unlink due to the disappearance of one of my reference sites. But imagine my surprise when I was suddenly getting hits from my old WordPress site (which hasn’t been active since 2018) this week. It seems artist and teacher Jenie Yolland has copy-pasted my little research rant because they have a deep and abiding love for Sam Neil’s reading of The Owl and the Pussycat, and an interest in weird table utensils. And all that is utterly fine with me, so, without further ado, here is a slightly updated version of what I said about runcible spoons way back when:

Ah the Runcible spoon, which rose to fame in the Edward Lear poem “The Owl and the Pussycat” is not, in fact, the poet’s invention–no matter what the internet says. How do I know this?

Because I read Boswell’s The Life of Samuel Johnson in college. There’s a scene in the diary wherein Boswell and Dr. Johnson have stopped at an inn while traveling and they must provide their own utensils while they eat from a shared bowl. Boswell is put out that he has only his belt knife and cannot keep up with the prodigious gobbling pace of Johnson who has a “Runcible’s spoon”. This invention of a man named Runcible (no, his first name isn’t mentioned that I recall, but I’d bet on “John” just to be perverse) is described by Boswell as a long handle with a spoon bowl at one end and fork at the other, and one sharpened edge to make a small knife (I’m afraid I’ve forgotten if it was the spoon or the fork that had the sharpened side). Boswell is interested in Runcible’s invention and though Johnson finds it a bit of a challenge, it’s a huge step up from making do with a belt knife and fingers as Boswell has to do.

Johnson predates Edward Lear by a considerable time. That the internet has widely reported the story of the Runcible spoon as an invention of Lear’s does not, in fact, make it true. It’s the invention of Runcible.

And although it is sometimes mislabled a “spork,” it is, in fact, a variation on Mr. Runcible’s spoon. (The Slightly Less Than Official Spork Page claims “’Spork’ is the colloquial term for `Runcible Spoon’” but the spork doesn’t usually have a sharpened edge and there’s no knife edge on the official patent design.) The original must have had a longer and more distinct handle, but still… a spoon bowl, fork tines, and one sharpened edge…. Plainly a Runcible’s spoon. You can imagine how swank Dr. Johnson must have been to own such a marvel in the Eighteenth Century. Very, very swank! No sharing germs with the peons for Dr. Johnson! No burning his fingers snatching bits of meat out of the stew pot with his unaided hand.

And, in spite of what my parents told me, a central-pivot salad tongs is also not a Runcible spoon. Just isn’t. Sorry. Not to mention how could the Owl and Pussycat ever have eaten “mince and slices of quince” with a salad tongs? Ridiculous. But with a Runcible spoon? Easy as… well, as pie. Om nom nom!

Also, the poem wouldn’t have rhymed very well with “spork.”

A pair of silver-colored salad tongs, which look like a giant pair of scissors with a spoon bowl and a large fork where the blades ought to be

 

Editing Schedule for August and September


Due to back-to-school pressures and rescheduling, I have open editing, consulting, and coaching slots for the rest of August and September!

So, if you’ve got a project in need of Developmental or Line Editing, or you’re interested in some personal coaching or consultation on a project or just some one-on-one about your writing, get in touch!

 

What I’m doing


So it’s been awhile. Doing some Editing and Writer Coaching,  but still looking for more clients, got an account on BlueSky Social (you can find me there as @katrichardson) in hopes of dodging the Social Media apocalypse on Twitter, and throwing myself against the wall of some short stories and an attempt at A New Novel (or whatever it turns into.)

The Edgar Allen Poe inspired anthology Kickstarter at Falstaff Books was successful, so that’ll be coming out before the end of the year (sooner, IIRC, but check the campaign link updates or Falstaff Books for info as that moves further in production.

In the meantime, it’s mostly dogs, digging/filling holes and grading roads on the someday-house site, and trying not to eat all the tasty baked goods Mr. Kat has been learning to make.

 

Tricksy Bastards


Scissor Gnomes. They have been a plague upon me since I was a child. Put the scissors (or box knife) down while working. Use another tool for a few minutes… Finish. Reach for the scissors… They aren’t where I put them. Look everywhere in the vicinity. Find them not. Yell and scream at the Scissor Gnomes, tell them this is Not Funny. Walk out of room. Return. Scissors are back where I first put them down. Scissor Gnomes: Total jerks.

3d rendered model of man-like figure dragging a large pair of scissors.

 

line drawing of woman in casual clothes, sitting at at table at home, working on her laptop while sipping a hot beverage. a window and potted house plants in the background
Image by Piyapong Saydaung from Pixabay

Not Going There


I’ve never been so glad to be working via remote. I am being interviewed for a podcast later today, and I’ll still be able to get some other work done, rather than spending most of my day commuting two hours to a recording studio for 90 minutes of set up and recording, then driving home again another 2 hours.
Some things about virtuality suck, but not commuting is not one of them.

 

 

Not just “Mommy Porn”


I currently edit only a little Romance, but I have a coaching client who writes nothing but romance and he (yes, he) finds himself a little squeamish about “the sexy bits.” But the fact is, not all commercial Romance is “hot.” While spicy romance is high-profile and big-selling, there have always been—and always will be—categories of mainstream Romance which are not graphically detailed with respect to sex. These are broadly categorized as “sweet” romance and entire sub-genres of sweet sell in the millions of copies in the US and elsewhere every year.

There’s a silly idea running around among some non-Romance fiction readers that this genre is mostly soft- to hardcore porn for middle aged heterosexual women. It’s not. Romance covers a lot of ground, and a lot of romance is pretty mild in the bedroom department. I’m also pleased as punch that the Diversity movement is opening up more room for Romances that center on wider relationship options than ever before. While there have always been books about same-sex relationships, older and second-time-around romances, “sweet” Christian romance, Amish romance, Westerns, and YA romances (just to name a few), now there’s not only room for more, but room for damn-near everything.

If you’re reading or writing any story with relationships (and that’s all pretty much every story to some degree) you now have a lot more options for your characters to engage in ways that aren’t either “hot sexy times” or chaste kissing and a quickly closed bedroom door.

laptop computer next to a pile of colored folders with a pair of reading glasses on top

Costs Worth Paying


I engaged in a conversation recently on The Twit (@katrchrdsn) and FurryElephant (@kat_richardson@universeodon.com) with an #IndieAuthor, and others, about editing costs. She was quoted $6K for an edit based on word count and is aghast. I’m not, but then, I’m old and have been in the editing game since 1991.

Editing and Cover Art are vital to any book’s success and they are worth paying for. Yeah, $6k for editing may be high, however, cost depends on how much work the edit represents; word count, genre, level of edit expected, degree of interaction the editor offers, and so on make a big difference in the cost. Also the editor’s rep and hourly rate have a price. In-demand, well-regarded, and/or award-winning editors charge more for their time.

My editing prices start around $2.5K for developmental edit on 90-120K genre fiction manuscripts. Longer books, Coaching, Non-Fiction, line-edit, and Technical editing cost more. I don’t do Copyedit or final proof. Those are specialized skill sets and they should be performed by someone other than the author or dev/line editor, if possible (it helps to have new eyes on a project at that point, among other reasons.)

I  will occasionally do “single pass crits,” which are super-light and get the client a short—usually bullet-point—crit letter to work from, but I still have to charge $800 for my time, because it takes most of a week to read 90-100K and write up the notes (plus my bookkeeping/invoicing). I try not to do a lot of these, since they take more hours than I charge for, and I bill at less than half my normal rate.

If the writer’s new to the self-pub systems, getting some help on formatting can also be worth some cash first time through (or trading services with another writer who’s more experienced). This is also something I don’t do, and which writers should not expect from a freelance editor.

If a writer doesn’t have the money for some services, they’ll have to settle for something less than their ideal. Shopping around and being willing to spend less on some things, and do more themself is necessary. If you consider yourself an Indie Writer, you are also, effectively, an Indie Publisher, and that comes with all the hats. You either wear them all, with varying degrees of success, or you farm some out. Editing is worth paying for, whether you pay in cash or with an exchange of services with another member of the Writing/Editing community. I don’t say this just because I’m an editor as well as a writer, and I want your money; I know first-hand that I’m a great editor when I’m working for someone else, and a bit blind to my own writing faults when working for myself. YMMV.

Off to California!


I’m heading to northern California for the month of December to spend some time with friends and relatives I haven’t seen in quite a while. I’ll be out of touch while on the road, so I won’t be checking in on mail or posting much between now and the new year. Still, I do love hearing from you guys, so please do drop an email if you want and I’ll get back to you when I can.

Happy Holidays, and be excellent to each other!

 

Individual Titles Still available


Wow! I really didn’t expect this to happen so fast. All the complete sets of the Greywalker novels are now sold and will be shipping soon. But that doesn’t mean there are no books left! I still have various formats of everything, but they don’t make neatly matched sets, and in some cases I only have a few of  some formats or titles.

What’s still available:

  • Greywalker US Mass Market (5)
  • Poltergeist US Mass Market (10), German paperback (1)
  • Underground Hardcover (7 + 1 signed and dated on launch day, August 4, 2008), US Mass Market (10), UK paperback (1) German paperback (2)
  • Vanished Hardcover (11), US Mass Market (7)
  • Labyrinth Hardcover (10), US Mass Market (11)
  • Downpour UK Paperback (17), Audio disc set (1)
  • Seawitch Hardcover (23), US Mass Market (15), Audio disc set (2)
  • Possession Hardcover (30), US Mass Market (30) Audio disc set (2)
  • Revenant Hardcover (33) US Mass Market (36) Audio disc set (1)
  • Sliding Puzzles and Bookmarks

So if you’re trying to fill out a set, or create a set just for reading and aren’t picky about the books all matching, there’s still books available!

Drop me email via the contact form if you’re interested.

 

 

I have Prices and such


After many website problems and a collapsing table… I have functionality so, back to the book sale!

To keep it simple, all book purchase requests must be placed through this website’s contact page (not the comments).  Send your request list and I’ll reply as soon as I can with availability and pricing info.

Since I have very few copies of Greywalker and Poltergeist in US large format paperback, and very few Downpour in either US format, I can only make 4 complete sets of US large Format, and 4 of US Small format (MMP) . Therefore, those titles will not be sold separately, right now.

All prices are in US dollars and do not include shipping unless noted. Further details below the price list.

Sets SOLD OUT!

  • Large Format Set: $215 (only 4 available—includes US domestic Media Mail shipping)
  • Small Format Set: $70 (only 4 available—includes US domestic Media Mail shipping )

Individual books/items

  • US Hardcover (Underground, Vanished, Labyrinth, Seawitch, Possession, Revenant) (Downpour is SOLD OUT) : $25
  • US MMP (Downpour in full sets only ): $7
  • US Trade Paperback (Greywalker, Poltergeist, in full sets only): $14 SOLD OUT
  • UK B-Format Paperback (1 Underground, 8 Labyrinth, 17 Downpour available): $8
  • German Paperback (1 Poltergeist, 2 Underground available): $9
  • French Paperback (Greywalker, 1 available): $12 SOLD OUT
  • Downpour Advanced Reading Copy (1 available): $22 SOLD OUT
  • Audio disc sets from Recorded Books, read by Mia Barron (1 Downpour, 2 Seawitch, 2 Possession, 1 Revenant): $25
  • Labyrinth promo sliding-tile puzzle (limited availability): $0.50
  • Original, handmade magnetic Greywalker bookmarks: $0.50 each if ordered separately, FREE with book purchase (limit 4)

Full sets of the Greywalker series in US Large Format include the trade paperback of Greywalker and Poltergiest, and hardcover of the remaining 7 books of the series, plus two bookmarks and a sliding-tile puzzle. Full sets of the Greywalker series US Small Format will include all 9 mass market paperbacks, one bookmark and a sliding-tile puzzle. Additional bookmarks up to 4 total are free, but please let me know you want them. All books will be signed, but not personalized (think of my poor, cramped hands!)

Requests will be filled in order received and as soon as I can. Payment via PayPal unless other arrangements are made. All domestic shipping will be via United States Postal Service Media Mail to keep costs down. It’s a slow method, but it’s cheap and a box of books can be very heavy. Non-US shipping or domestic shipping other than media will be discussed individually. Yes, I am willing to ship these anywhere, but will have to quote you shipping costs and total prices individually.

And there y’have it. If you want signed books, or have questions, please send an email through the contact page and I will reply as soon as I can with information on availability, pricing, and shipping costs. I’ll be driving to California and back in December, thus out of range for packing and shipping, so let’s get to this!

Thanks, and Happy Reading!

Note: sets and some individual titles/formats are now sold out! ( as of this morning: November 10, 2022)

graphic of generic parcels

 

Table full of Greywalker series books